HEY TIFFANY ROE

How to Tell If It's Anxiety or Intuition

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How can you know if it’s anxiety or if it’s intuition?

Anxiety: combo of fear, worry, and the actual feeling state of anxiety. It can be worry which is future oriented thoughts resistant to uncertainty and ambiguity. It can be fear, actual fear of imminent threat. It can be the feeling state of anxiety which is physiological arousal like difficulty breathing or sensations of tightness.

Intuition: It’s a deep sense. A knowing. Impressions. Clarity. 6th sense. Even when related to fear or warning, intuition is more calm and grounded. It’s resolve. It’s in your gut. It’s typically relieving instead of panic inducing.

How do I know this? I don’t. It’s a hypothesis like every single thing I say. I’m not my ideas, but I have ideas. This one is from my intuition, job experience, and personal lived experience. Most of my counseling hacks are simply my observations of patterns mixed with my personal anxiety and intuition. I guess I throw in some psych facts and theory too. ⠀

Therapy and tacos for all,

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Anxiety: Combo of fear, worry, and the actual feeling state of anxiety. It can be worry which is future oriented thoughts resistant to uncertainty and ambiguity. It can be fear, actual fear of imminent threat. It can be the feeling state of anxiety which is physiological arousal like difficulty breathing or sensations of tightness.

Intuition: It’s a deep sense. A knowing. Impressions. Clarity. 6th Sense. Even when related to fear or warning, intuition is more clam and grounded. It’s resolve. It’s in your gut. It’s typically relieving instead of panic inducing.

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Practicing Feel Deal Heal Daily

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Therapy thoughts: The work of making peace with mind body & food is really about practicing daily self-compassion.

It looks like, “I can feel this.”

If it’s too strong it may look like, “I can do something to cope with this.”

It may sound like, “This is hard and I recognize my suffering.”

It can sound like, “I soften my resistance, I allow these emotional waves, it’s okay to feel this, my feelings are valid.”

Feeling & dealing is my life’s work but it’s not like I’m here saying, “I did it let me teach you how to arrive at this fluffy taco cloud of feeling-free heaven.” Nah. It’s daily intention. There’s no living without emotion. Everyday we re-commit & reconnect. We learn and practice. Sometimes we tense up and shove it down (damn, I’ve done that all year.) Other-times we are really in tune and able to use mindfulness and validate like a champ (I’ve done that too!) It’s all part of it and it’s all feeling dealing healing! Keep at it fam.

Therapy and tacos for all,

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5 Reasons Why Seeing a Counselor Isn't Weak

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Happy Monday! Time to start the week of banishing some mental health stigma!

Here are 5 reasons why seeing a counselor ISN'T WEAK for whoever needs to hear it:

  1. It takes courage! Facing our hard stuff (which is pretty much what counseling is all about) is a courageous act. It’s not weak.

  2. Change is hard. I propose that doing something “hard” like changing, facing uncomfortable emotions, taking responsibility… is the opposite of weak. What’s EASY is doing the same thing we always do; it can be the road of least resistance. Pretending like nothing is wrong and acting stoic can prevent authenticity and movement. Growth and change is HARD. It's not weak.

  3. Getting professional help is smart. Counseling is the mental health equivalent to many interventionists for physical health. You recognize something isn’t working and you seek professional assistance. This is a smart choice, not a weak choice.

  4. Valuing mental wellness is a positive investment. Those who seek to better their mental health are making an investment in their well-being. I think we all agree that’s not a bad thing. Mental health is a major component of overall wellbeing. It’s not weak.

  5. There's proof in the pudding

I received this email from a recent first-time client: “I just want to say that last night after leaving our appointment, I was filled with such a light and excited feeling. Hard to describe but it was a true happiness I haven’t felt in a long time. I am really looking forward to your guidance and knowledge in helping me rediscover and connect with my soul. I am ready for this journey.” If this is an outcome of counseling and people around us say counseling is weak… perhaps that’s okay. If the outcomes are joy and happiness, maybe we can just give the stigma the middle finger as we smile (like, smile big) and as we proceed forward on the high road.

Therapy and tacos for all,

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Coping with Emotional Rollercoasters

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Here are some therapy thoughts on coping with emotional rollercoasters, not that I’ve been on one... #itme

Lay down and ask the buzzing in your body what it needs. When you feel the stress, the worry, the hustle, or the fear, pause and ask what’s up. Listen.

Journal. Journal everything. Uncensored writing. Write all the dark stuff and burn it. Write all the affirmations, gratitudes, manifesting, goals, and intentions. Get it out.

Meditate. 1 minute or 20, just treat meditation like food and water when you’re riding a big emotional wave.

Connect to nature. Doesn’t need to be major. Kick off your shoes and walk on the grass. Stare longingly at a leaf. Admire the fall sunsets.

Mindfulness. Right now, right here, just notice and observe using your 5 senses and take in this moment. Then the next moment. Feel the steering wheel. Notice the cool breeze. Smell the morning coffee. Hear the bass in your headphones. Taste the tacos.

Watch that self talk. Soften, be aware, accept, and redirect harshness. Self compassion but also get your own back with a little cheerleading.

Emotional Seasons come and go and so much is out of our control - the practice of staying present and engaged with emotional experiences is the name of the game. Remember, if we don’t give our emotions space, they will make space.

Therapy and tacos for all,

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Nurturing Behaviors Versus Numbing Behaviors

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Numbing behaviors are behaviors we use to relieve a sense of pain or discomfort. We often opt for numbing behavior and coping strategies because they are often fast acting, easily accessible, produce immediate results, and create chemical changes in the body.

Nurturing behavior and self-care strategies are behaviors that serve our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well being. They provide short-term and long-term support in meeting our needs.

Always consider duration, frequency, amount, & intention, when it comes to numbing or nurturing behaviors. Numbing and nurturing behaviors can overlap. This is a mindful practice of learning your needs, self-care, and a lot more.

Nurturing Behaviors VS Numbing Behaviors:

  • Connection and Support on Social Media VS Disconnection and Escape on Social Media

  • Some Netflix VS Headache and Foggy Lethargy From So Many Episodes

  • Enjoying Girl Scout Cookies VS Restricting, Binging, Purging Because of Girl Scout Cookies

  • A Drink or Two With Dinner VS Binge Drinking or Black Out

  • Buying a Few Items For Fun VS Shopping to Excess and Sabotaging Your Budget

Therapy and tacos for all,

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How Emotions and Food Are Interconnected

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Emotions and food are interconnected. Emotional eating isn’t inherently bad. Think of it like you’re not a robot. It’s not wrong to be human and have emotions. Food is supposed to be pleasurable and satisfactory. It DOES provide comfort. Now, if you ONLY eat when emotionally upset, or eating is your only coping skill, or you’re super disconnected from feeling - ask yourself the questions as you turn to food to numb out, “WHAT ELSE DO I NEED - WHAT AM I FEELING?” Will food address it? How can I gently feel and deal with this? Can you talk to someone, write, take a break, rest, have a bath, play!

  1. What can you do to address the emotion you are experiencing?

  2. Give yourself unconditional permission to eat food, remove the mental battle of restriction and punishment so you can clearly relate to food without ravenous obsession.

  3. Shouldn’ts are often diet rules! Challenge that! Says who? You can work on healing your relationship with food and it starts with permission to eat all foods.

Emotions are part of it, and only eating for pure hunger or “fuel” sounds like a restrictive diet to me. The paradox: by having permission to emotionally eat, we don’t have to emotionally eat.

And to be honest, most of us are in literal nervous system dysregulation right now. Eating helps regulate us in survival mode. We’re not built to perfectly navigate 2020, or anytime, so have compassion for joes you’re related to food right now.

What’s your relationship with food looking like now a days? I know my appetite disappears and I get very nauseous when I have acute stress and anxiety. It’s always crappy, but sticking to food as self care and nourishment is how I show myself self-respect even when nothing sounds good.

Therapy and tacos for all,

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Graphic: Eating more or less because of emotional turmoil isn’t a moral issue. Practice being kind to yourself and having compassion for the impact of acute stress on your relationship with food.

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